“Give me yesterday's Bread, this Day's Flesh, and last Year's Cyder.”

Aww, Benjamin Franklin, you're so clever.

But, alas, until Lent is over, my friends, I can have this Day's Flesh (although that phrase is little gross), and last Year's Cyder (mmm...cider), but no yesterday's Bread for me.

That's right folks, I gave up bread for Lent.

Now, before you think this is some sort of twisted way of putting myself on a diet, it's really not!

After attending a beautiful Ash Wednesday service where the homily was on how Lent is a season of self-sacrifice and restraint, I started thinking about what this year's commitment would be.

I know you're saying right now, "But Katy, dear girl, you already gave up DVDs for 30 days, what bigger sacrifice is there for you?"

Let's be honest here, between you and me...I love me some bread. Mmm...bagel....mmm...pizza....mmm, Italian bread. I readily indulge and think nothing of it, carbs forgotten.

But this is less a practice in giving up grains, and more of challenging myself to do without - regardless of what I'm giving up. When I told my friend Little Ms. Bossy about this, she seemed slightly horrified, but wished me good luck - as she ate a roll...hahaha. But I know that is an exercise in thinking daily about what I do and how I can control things in moderation. A time for me to think in different terms about how I live and act. This bread thing is deep people, deep.



So we'll see...one successful week plus one day and counting.



Grant that I may become beautiful in my soul within, and that all my external possessions may be in harmony with my inner self. May I consider the wise to be rich, and may I have such riches as only a person of self-restraint can bear or endure.
~Plato

Splendour in the Grass

What though the radiance

which was once so bright

Be now for ever taken from my sight,

Though nothing can bring back the hour

Of splendour in the grass,

of glory in the flower,

We will grieve not, rather find

Strength in what remains behind;

In the primal sympathy

Which having been must ever be;

In the soothing thoughts that spring

Out of human suffering;

In the faith that looks through death,

In years that bring the philosophic mind.

-William Wordsworth

Ah, Wordsworth...how can I qualify your talent? Your words are amazing and your sentiments timeless. Your ability to capture the emotion and feeling of a moment is unequaled, and for that I love your work. "Splendour in the Grass" is a lasting favorite of mine.

But why, dear readers, did I choose this poem? One praising the virtue of appreciating a moment and not regretting what has come to pass?

Because I am about to say good-bye forever to a very dear friend. One that has been with me for years and seen me through good times and bad. One that has never let me down and has given me countless good memories. One that helped me in grad school and then helped me start my career.

Alas, to mark this sad, sad parting, I have written a good-bye letter that I would like to share with you all to my friend:

Dear 1988 Chevy S-10,

I will miss you so much. I hated you when we first met in 2004. I'm not sure how my grandfather had bought so simple a vehicle. I hated you for not having air-conditioning, power brakes, power steering, or an FM radio. But most of all, you were a manual, and I, a devotee of automatic.

But we came together you and I, like a pegasus. Through hours at the Cub Foods parking lot and in the neighborhood, I learned how to lift the clutch and not kill the engine. I learned that taking off in 3rd was not necessarily a good idea - especially with the emergency brake on. And I learned that you and I could get along no matter our differences.

You came with me to Bloomington, when I only barely knew how to drive you. Parallel parking brought some frustration and inappropriate language, but you always kept going. You taught me that jumper cables can be a girl's best friend and that 4 people can fit on a bench seat. You hauled furniture, wine glasses, people, a piano, theater sets, and helped me bring home a brand-new kitty.

You travelled well, and when it was time to move to Texas, you were game. You lasted 17 hours of father-daughter bonding and got us safely the width of the United States. I learned quickly that I missed air-conditioning in a state where humidity is the most common pasttime. You put up with crazy Houston police and multiple trips to the opera. You withstood the taunts of the snobby security card who said you weren't good enough to park in front of the upscale apartment building.

You went with me to DC and stood by me through the tears, anger, and disappointment. You made countless trips to Target and Goodwill and helped some great people move new places. You bonded with others as your battery was changed and a new radio installed and let me change all of your lights. You withstood snow, ice, and annoying neighbors.

Alas, dear one, I couldn't take you to Chicago. I will miss you and your great chrome shifter and "I (heart) Wood" sticker and your leopard print seats. Saying good-bye to you is like saying good-bye to a family member and you will always be my first car. You taught me the value of driving a manual and now I can never go back.

But most of all, I'll miss the times we had together and hope that your next owner loves you as much as I do.

Love,

Katy

An Ode to Pepperoni Pizza Combos

I remember the day I discovered you
Spying you from afar
I was on my way to Chicago
My mom yelling "Get in the car"

I can't believe I didn't know you
Until the age of 25
But since my first bite of you
I've never felt more alive

Chips be damned and Fritos
You are dead to me
I have never been so happy
As with a bag of Combos at my knee

Despite my will of iron
I eat you way too quick
I'd never be without you
If I had that option to pick

I can't buy you in Chicago
You're very hard to find
But please be assured, my Combos
You're never far from my mind

Some Super Tuesday Cuteness

Awesome picture of Sugar thanks to this guy

Frailty thy name is Woman

No, don't let the title fool you...I haven't had a husband die only to replace him with his brother while my son sees visions and slowly goes crazy...silly people.

No, my inability to commit comes in several ways: failure to commit to blogging often, failure to commit to more than one date with any one given person (ahh, the stories), and failure to commit to changing this behavior. I joke around all the time with my family & friends about this fear of commitment like it's a fun little quirk of habit. My concern of late is that this is less a quirk and more of a consistent personality trait: no relationship more than a few months, living in a city no longer than a year, changing jobs after one year, constantly changing my hair, re-arranging furniture every few months, etc., etc. Now, David Beckham has these same obsessive behaviors - including having to vacuum the rug in exact straight lines - but as I'm not being paid millions a year to play soccer and take my shirt off for advertising, I have this niggling thought that we're really both not in the same boat.

Having come to the conclusion that no one will pay me to keep on having commitment problems, I've come up with a series of goals that I may or may not commit to:)

1) Living in Chicago minimum of two years: Only one year and six months to go - deep breath in and out, phewwwww...
2) Leaving my furniture alone until my birthday: Only three more months...three more months
3) Not messing with my hair until it grows at least 14 inches: This may not work - I'm cheap and that's a lot of shampoo...buuuttt...less haircuts...hmm...
4) Not handing my business card out to cute strangers: Done and done...note to self - no longer carry business cards

That said, I am firmly committed to several things that I can pride myself on:
1) Sugar - my cute, cuddly, chubby cat has my lifelong commitment - how could I not?
2) Supporting various causes - I feel strongly about donating to many organizations that are working for a better world including the WWF and CARE
3) Speaking French - I attend class twice a week and move up a level every five weeks - I've now been doing that since September and can't imagine not going
4) Movie trivia - Please, everyone has a hobby
5) Working in the arts - bringing you music, one dollar at a time
6) Friends and family - because really, your life is better with me in it...hahahahaha...just kidding:)

Now before you think I'm pulling a Britney Spears and committing my self to a psych ward, I'm actually just reflecting on a series of events in the past few weeks. I'm getting better at committing, though - I mean after all, I've been a member of Netflix since 2004.

...

January 30 day goal update: I SUCCESSFULLY purchased 0 DVDs in the month of January. To celebrate, I bought the 1st season of The Tudors on February 1st - WITH a coupon. Booyah. But I've learned something - I don't have to always give in to the need to buy, buy, buy. Stronger, baby, stronger:)

February 30 day goal: Write a card or letter to someone everyday - friend or family. I happen to still love snail mail and I hope to share that with others. I've got my Chinese New Year/Cary Grant stamps ready to go - Bon chance a moi!!

Everything I learned, I learned from...???

This past week has been a bit of challenge, but I would like to try and take the high road and recall those times that were a "learning opportunity" - in the form of a multiple question test

1) You argue with someone how much better your bus route is than theirs and then without fail the next few days it:
a) is so full that you have to wait for 3 buses to pass in order to get on after waiting an hour
b) never shows up when you have a 7:30am meeting
c) breaks down right before you get on Lakeshore Drive.
d) All of the above

2) You return from Christmas vacation ready to start eating healthier and cooking more to save money, you find out that:
a) the friendly neighborhood grocery store is going out of business the last week of January
b) the friendly neighborhood grocery store closes early due to lack of product and hold New Orleans style funeral to mark the closing
c) the replacement friendly neighborhood grocery store won't open until the end of February, leaving a gap of approximately 5 weeks
d) All of the above

3) You have a conversation with your friend about how great it is that the Chicago winter hasn't been that bad and you haven't even gotten sick lately! A week later:
a) Suddenly it's 2 degrees outside, but it "feels" like -15
b) The new knob on your steam heater doesn't turn so you can't turn your heat on in the living room
c) You get a wicked cold so that you can't breathe and everyone at work gives you those "pitying" looks like leprosy is next
d) All of the above

Bonus Question (Please show your work)

You're crossing the bridge over the river at 9:30pm and have to wait for the light to cross. At the same time your bus turns the corner going the other way to your bus stop. It's snowing out with icy sidewalks, you're talking on your phone, a taxi is waiting to peal out in front of you, and Jupiter is in line with Venus. How fast do you have to run to be in the nick of time to just miss your bus? Bonus points if you calculate the weight, velocity, and annoyance of carrying three bags while wearing heels.

DVD update: Good news! I even entered a Borders and entered the electronics section and wasn't tempted! Much...okay, there were some tears...and gnashing of the teeth...and wearing of the sackcloth.

Anti-Fashionista

I love my sister - don't get me wrong. But sometimes being related to the Goodwill fashionista is hard. She blogs about fashion, reads Vogue cover to cover, used to work at an upscale boutique part-time, and can walk into a store and name the brand of clothing without looking at the tag - all while promoting the value of a bargain. The girl has skills.

That said, we agree on some things:
1) White socks and black shoes are not acceptable
2) Tommy Hilfilger has a "me" complex
3) Too tight clothing looks good on no one

But, I am not a fashionista, not by any shape or form of the word. I personally think I dress well, if not a little funky. And I can bargain shop with the best of them - my high school Homecoming dresses never costed more than $10, and I have a $5 Oscar de la Renta blazer in my closet (thanks Goodwill!). I'll look at Vogue if someone throws it at me and I check out Go Fug Yourself like everybody else.

So why, you ask, is it so difficult to be related to the fashionista? Well, my friends, we do have our differences. To me, wearing sweatpants out in public to multiple venues is perfectly acceptable. I rarely wear all black (no little black dress for this girl), and more often than not it looks like Rainbow Bright exploded in the washer when I'm doing my laundry. I wear tye-died shirts and in my free time often wear multiple layers of clothing that doesn't necessarily match. And you couldn't pry my bright green Crocs from my cold dead hands.

That said, I will confess, in a nod to my fashionista sista, that I do have my brand name weaknesses that my soft heart can't say no to:

1) J brand jeans: I own the wide-leg style that premiered last year. Amazing jeans that are incredibly soft, wash well, and make my derriere look amazing - done and done.

2) Kenneth Cole...anything: Timeless style, boots you can wear for hours, dress coats that keep you warm in the Arctic/Chicago, and classic cuts that makes everyone look good!

3) BCBG dresses: Some of their stuff isn't really up my alley, but my chocolate brown jersey full-length formal dress is a testament to BCBG's ability to create a product that can withstand opening galas, public transportation, and the Kennedy Center Honors

Despite my weakness of the above brands, I continue to like clothing that was popular a few years ago (legwarmers), questionable patterns (polka dots with plaid), and styles that have yet to make it to America and be accepted (dresses over pants). I disdain skirts, am horrified of hose, and will run screaming from the designer section of Nordstom. Or fall asleep in one of the chairs while my sis is shopping...either one, really.

So where does that leave me? Probably in my Target fake Uggs with my sister weeping for me in the background.