Guy Ritchie, we need to talk

Because I'm pretty sure you took the amazing literature of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and crapped all over it. Why do I say this? Because of this monstrosity...

What...what is that? I felt sorry for you when Madonna took away your masculinity and coerced you into making the disaster that was Swept Away. I gave you the benefit of the doubt and actually paid to see RocknRolla.

And what do you do? You take the beloved story of Sherlock Holmes and make it into some twisted action movie with bad comedy and worse (looks like at least) plotlines. For the love of all that is sacred and holy, why? Look, I know that SH was a drug user during his time, but that doesn't mean the audience show be required to do the same just to get through this monstrosity of a film.

And it is going to be released on December 25? What, you're trying to kill my Christmas, too? Bullocks to that, mate.

Because you can take your bare-knuckled fisting, bad joke making, wimpy looking, bad accent using Sherlock Holmes and stuff him somewhere that won't see the light of day. Because, my friend - Jeremy Brett is better than you'll ever be. So put that in your pipe and smoke it.