Monday, January 4, 2010

I'd just like to say...

I feel sorry for my children and I haven't even had them yet. I mean, yes, I do plan on having them...someday. Of course that would require I actually go on a date and not treat it like some kind of social experiment. Actually, that would mean I go on a date, full stop. But that's a different subject for a different time.

The reason I sympathize with my as of yet hypothetical offspring is that approaching my 28th year, I have some low personal standards for myself. Some of these include the following:
  • Freezer burn is a myth - if something can be heated up, then it's fine.
  • Napkins, at times, are a totally acceptable substitute to toilet paper.
  • Toilet paper, in turn, can substitute for kleenex.
  • Mascara can last at least a year - more if it doesn't go totally solid.
  • Leaving meat out overnight doesn't necessarily mean it needs to be thrown away.
  • Wearing contacts too long in order to save money by having to buy less is brilliant.
  • Not having a certain ingredient in a recipe doesn't preclude finding a substitute based on the fact that said substitute at least looks similar.
  • 7-11 is a worthy stand-in for the actual grocery.
  • Sweeping the most visible areas counts for sweeping the entire apartment.
Before I list anymore I have two caveats to this list. I a) was not raised like this - don't think badly of my mother; and b) actually live in a sanitary, clean environment - almost obsessively so, just maybe not using traditional methods.

So why the pity for future generations? Because, sometimes, I barely take care of myself (and Sugar). Cereal for dinner, ignoring chores for work, sleeping to the last possible second before work, etc. I have friends who are mothers and I totally respect them for all of the extra work it takes! I mean that's sacrifice. In turn, granted, you have the unconditional love of your kids and whatnot and that is truly valuable...agreed, but I feel like it requires one to operate in some Nancy Meyers-like film well the settings are gorgeous, the food organic, and the flowers fresh. Realistically, I am aware that it's not always like that, but just run with me here, eh?

The folks that lived in the apartment before me had a baby...a BABY! In this smallish one bedroom. I was amazed, needless to say. All I could think was, "Man, where would I put all of my shoes?" So, obviously, I'm not in that place yet, thank goodness! But I in fact applaud young parents everywhere for their tenacity and skill - go forth and multiply some more.

Me? I'm off to get out my some 4 month old package of frozen edamame and boil it until it's green again. Or maybe I had this package in the old apartment? Not sure...

4 comments:

Marilyn said...

Thnak you for sparing the children !!
I tried to get you to play with and love baby dolls ! ha
Your day will come and your kids will be so loved.

Anonymous said...

I'm with you kiddo. I wouldn't refer to these as low personal standards so much as mini excutive decisions based on the circumstances at hand. I've always taken the position that if you can fry it then it's edible regardless of age or appearance.

As to children, well when the circumstances and time are right it will work. I know what you are thinking - blah, blah, blah but trust me on this one.

EmilyHaHa said...

Nancy Meyers can suck my edamame.

(Word verification? "Manzygo." Exactly.)

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