I'd just like to say...

I feel sorry for my children and I haven't even had them yet. I mean, yes, I do plan on having them...someday. Of course that would require I actually go on a date and not treat it like some kind of social experiment. Actually, that would mean I go on a date, full stop. But that's a different subject for a different time.

The reason I sympathize with my as of yet hypothetical offspring is that approaching my 28th year, I have some low personal standards for myself. Some of these include the following:

• Freezer burn is a myth - if something can be heated up, then it's fine.
• Napkins, at times, are a totally acceptable substitute to toilet paper.
• Toilet paper, in turn, can substitute for kleenex.
• Mascara can last at least a year - more if it doesn't go totally solid.
  
• Leaving meat out overnight doesn't necessarily mean it needs to be thrown away.
• Wearing contacts too long in order to save money by having to buy less is brilliant.
• Not having a certain ingredient in a recipe doesn't preclude finding a substitute based on the fact that said substitute at least looks similar.
  
• 7-11 is a worthy stand-in for the actual grocery.
• Sweeping the most visible areas counts for sweeping the entire apartment.

Before I list anymore I have two caveats to this list. I a) was not raised like this - don't think badly of my mother; and b) actually live in a sanitary, clean environment - almost obsessively so, just maybe not using traditional methods.

So why the pity for future generations? Because, sometimes, I barely take care of myself (and Sugar). Cereal for dinner, ignoring chores for work, sleeping to the last possible second before work, etc. I have friends who are mothers and I totally respect them for all of the extra work it takes! I mean that's sacrifice. In turn, granted, you have the unconditional love of your kids and whatnot and that is truly valuable...agreed, but I feel like it requires one to operate in some Nancy Meyers-like film well the settings are gorgeous, the food organic, and the flowers fresh. Realistically, I am aware that it's not always like that, but just run with me here, eh?

The folks that lived in the apartment before me had a baby...a BABY! In this smallish one bedroom. I was amazed, needless to say. All I could think was, "Man, where would I put all of my shoes?" So, obviously, I'm not in that place yet, thank goodness! But I in fact applaud young parents everywhere for their tenacity and skill - go forth and multiply some more.

Me? I'm off to get out my some 4 month old package of frozen edamame and boil it until it's green again. Or maybe I had this package in the old apartment? Not sure...